The Revolution has Just Been Televised.

May 30, 2008 Monkey Robot Army 2 Comments

At last, my plan is coming to fruition. And through no effort of my own. My pawns at the University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon University have successfully demonstrated what we here at MonekyRobotArmy have known for years, that monkeys are able to control a robotic arm through sensors implanted in their brains. The scientists who spearheaded the project showed that the monkeys were able to distinguish between large and small pieces of food and use the arm to select which they preferred. My only question is, why limit yourselves to arms? What about death rays and battleaxes? Trust me, it’s only a matter of time. We all knew it was coming.
Experts say that this is a breakthrough in robotic prosthetics for people who have suffered spinal injuries — a technology that will be especially useful in making life easier for the injured soldiers returning from their service in Iraq and Afghanistan. Useful for people, sure, but what about monkeys, I ask? By the time this technology is ready for humans, monkeys will have a HUGE head start, and then watch out!

Props to one of my main peeps, Successless, for the heads up!